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THERE ARE NO PERFECT FATHERS!!
If you don't belive it just wait until you have a teenager. I am the first to admit that I say things I later regret, maybe you have too. As commited fathers we should be very aware that our words and actions are being heard and watched. And that awareness should add extra motivation to speak and act responsibly - or, even better, in a way that encourages and breathes life into those around us.
Each of us should be challenged regularly by this simple question: "What kind of an example am I setting?" Your son is watching and he needs to know what he should aspire to become. How does a "Real Man" act? Your daughter is also watching, because she needs to know what to expect from men. She may marry one someday. Your childs friends, teammates and class mates - some of whom don't have a father at home - are also watching you.
While you are thinking about what kind of example you want to be, consider a few cultural myths about manhood that need to be rethought....
- A Man's man is big and strong and often neglects developing his mental, emotional and relational muscles.
- A Man's man doesn't expresses affection - except possibly anger.
- A Man's man doesn't cry or show weakness.
- A Man's man is an expert on sex, fostering the stereotype that sexuality and romance are areas of competition and conquest.
- A Man's value is based on what he does and what he earns, not his relationships.
Dads are you living according to myths about manhood? For the sake of your children and other kids in your sphere of influence, how can you conteract these myths and model healthy, genuine manhood?
Action Points:
- Ask your childs mother (and your child) about your behaviour at sporting events. In what areas could you improve?
- Discuss the manhood myths with your spouse or some other dads.
- Think about the last time you lost control of your anger with your family. What circumstances (Who, What, Where, When) seemed to trigger it? What can you do to respond more positively next time?
(Taken from Fathers.com weekly - Ken Canfield (with permission)) |
